Lyndon's Lexicon

These are the words and expressions I use in my every day vernacular; you may find this guide useful for understanding my dialect. You can find more of my words at wordie.

Alright, me lover ?: Meaning: How are you ?
Origin: West country parlance
Example: "Alright, me lover ?"
anticrastination: Meaning: The opposite of procrastination.
Origin: Me
Example: That thing is still stressing me, I need to anticrastinate.
apples: Meaning: Cider
Origin: West country parlance
Example: "Mines an apples"
apt: Meaning: Apartment
Origin: PKD's vision of the future.
Example: "Just going back to the apt, got to try to get rid of some kipple"
bedme: Meaning: Someone looking for some "action"
Secret Origin: Top quality people from Bristol
Example: "This is the kind of place bedmes come to play football"
beer space: Meaning: The amount of room left in your stomach for alcoholic beverages once you have consumed a meal
Secret Meaning: "I'm a lightweight"
Secret Reference: A Dan Slater excuse.
Example: "Sorry lads, I had a big dinner, I've got no beer space left"
birthday cheese: Meaning: Indicating a Homer Simpson "D'oh!" - the most incredibly wrong answer to an easy question
Origin: Catchphrase.
Example: "Where's Lisbon ?" "Spain." "Birthday Cheese!"
bitching: Meaning: Unfortunate. Used when something sucks
Origin: A Kris Potter-Burnell phrase.
Example: "I just split up with my girlfriend." "Uh. Bitching."
bozo: Meaning: An idiot
Origin: From childhood comics and also Mr. Chappell my physics teacher.
Example: "That guy parked his car so close to mine, he couldn't open his own door" "What a bozo"
Britney Spears: Meaning: Beers
Origin: Mockney rhyming slang.
Example: "Let's go for some Britneys"
cheers, cheers then: Meaning: thanks, a toast, goodbye / see you
Origin: West country parlance
Note: Sounds like Tchuss in German which also means "cheers then".
Example: "I'm off, cheers then."
chuck a U-ee: Meaning: To do a U turn
Origin: Beth, Melbourne
Example: "Streuth, you've missed the turning, chuck a you-ee here, mate."
delish: Meaning: Delicious
Origin: Beth commenting on my cooking (some mistake, surely ?)
Example: "That was delish."
dog man: Meaning: Unemployed person with dog
Origin: John Hooper
Original Reference: Alex Walsh
Example: Those people who ask you to "spare us any change for a cup of tea".
dummer: Meaning: Unintelligent person
Origin: West country parlance
Example: "He's a dummer".
Grockle: Meaning: tourist
Origin: West country parlance
Example: "Don't go into town, it's packed with grockles."
Gronk: Meaning: idiot
Origin: Jasmine (she's Australian)
Example: "I felt a bit of a gronk".
gumpf!: Meaning: Another Homer Simpson "D'oh!"
Origin: Graeme Puxley
Secret Origin: A reference to Viz magazine.
Example: "Gumpf!"
gurt: Meaning: Big, also used to intensify adjectives
Origin: West country parlance
Note: See any records by The Wurzels
Example: "...with a gurt big stick I'll knock 'im down.."
H: Meaning: Japanese way of saying something or someone is dodgy (lewd)
Note: The correct Japanese pronunciation is "etchi".
Example: "Yoshimi is so H ... shinjinaranai!"
Hai! Moshi moshi: Meaning: Japanese way to answer the phone
Note: Particularly useful for confusing callers.
Example: "Hai, moshi moshi ?" "What the .... ?"
he's a bit of a Billy: Meaning: He's not telling the truth
Origin: Deano Marriot describing Adrian Hughes' reputation for tall tales
Example: "Well, you know he's Billy..."
hinky: Meaning: Bizarre
Origin: NCIS
Example: "Vernon and Melissa's relationship is a bit hinky."
jam dandy: Meaning: Rhyming slang for handy.
Origin: See Nicholas Cage in the movie Wings of the Apache.
Example: "Do you want to meet us there at 7:30 ?" "That'll be jam dandy."
jitter: Meaning: description for greasy biker types who wear black clothes and like thrash music
Origin: West country parlance
Example: "Let's not go to that pub, it's full of jitters".
lush: Meaning: nice, desirable, a good looking female.
Origin: West country parlance
Example: "She's gurt lush."
make it so: Meaning: Let's do it
Origin: Star Trek
Note: Best not used in presence of strangers
Example: "Chris, I've a great idea, lets go to the pub" "Make it so."
most: Meaning: useful adjective, used in situations of understatement
Origin: Mark Baseley
Example: "I was most upset to find Bill urinating on the window".
no way: Meaning: Never, no
Origin: Kris Potter-Burnell; KPB found it very difficult to say anything not sarcastic.
Example: "You've won the lottery" "No Way!"
ne ?: Meaning: isn't that right
Origin: Japanese but also Korean for yes
Note: Be careful not to say repeatedly "ne, ne!, NE ?" for fear of sounding like a sheep.
Example: "It's a bit hot in here, ne ?"
nuclear sub: Meaning: pub
Origin: Mockney rhyming slang.
Note: See the movie "Lock, stock and two smoking barrels".
Example: "See you down the nuclear"
oi: Meaning: hello, no, stop, good
Origin: Tony Burton; especially when trying to stumble home from a pub.
Example: "Lyndon, oi!"
oiiiiiiiiiii: Meaning: how are you ?
Origin: Terry Palmer
Note: Only to be heard or used in the West country.
Example: "Oiiiiiiiiiiii, I was down by that tra'tor when..."
oishikunai: Meaning: Not delicious
Origin: Japanese people alway say something is delicious, even beer! If something is not delicious they don't say anything, it's more polite. However, I believe that if you are in a restaurant and paying for food then it is not impolite to be honest.
Note: I'm not sure the majority of Japanese people will agree with me. Use carefully.
Example: (In the restaurant) "Ryouri wa dou desu ka ?" "Oishikunai!"
Party: Definition: A 'party' involves turning up at a pre-determined location at a pre-arranged time with more alcoholic beverages than you can possibly hope to imagine to drink in a single night and retain liver function. (Acknowledgements to Dave Horne)
PC: Meaning: Personal Computer, a home computer
Note: Microsoft and Intel would have you believe that only an Intel PC running Windows (i.e. a Windows Box) is a PC. This is patently false: any home computer is a PC.
Picard manoeuvre: Real Meaning: to be in one place when in fact in another
Usual Meaning: when your (drunken) friend goes to talk to some girl you think he has no chance with and when you look away for 2 seconds, you look back to find him snogging her.
Origin: Star Trek
Example: "I can't believe it, that must have been the Picard manoeuvre."
Po'tishead: Meaning: Portishead. A small town that is a cornerstone of the West country (and not just a band, that's just where they come from).
PPC: Meaning: Power PC, a type of microprocessor manufactured by IBM and Motorola
Note: Microsoft, realising that Windows CE, the version of their famous desktop environment for PDAs has a very unmemorable name so they decided that PDAs running WinCE should be called "Pocket PCs" and hence causing much confusion by using an acronym already widely in use.
Example: "My PC is not Intel, it is PPC"
right on: Meaning: When something happens that is 100 percent righteous.
Origin: Elite
Note: You never say something "is" right on. It's only used as a response.
Example: "That guy who parks in your space had his car stolen" "Right on"
ripper: Meaning: a cool time
Origin: Grace
Example: "that party last night was a ripper"
rock and roll: Meaning: go
Origin: Queen concerts - "Are you ready to rock ? Are you ready to roll ?"
Example: "I'm ready to rock and roll".
second sleep: Meaning: go back to bed after an early morning run
Origin: Kojima-kun after running up Daimonji-yama at 8 am.
Example: "What are you doing later today ?" "Second sleep."
sharkenfischen: Meaning: on the pull
Origin: Post finals trip to Germany
Note: Comes from the realisation that English words can be made to sound German yet become incomprehensible to our German friends.
Example: "Hey, John, sharkenfischen, ja ?"
spacing in: Meaning: to bring things into focus rapidly
Example: "I'm spacing in on your problem."
Uck: Meaning: UK
Origin: When people give their email address they always say "... dot com" and never "... dot see oh em".
Note 1: Apply to every time you use UK
Note 2: John Savage claims he knew an Austrian girl called Dorothy whose email address was dot@dot.at
Example: "I come from Uck"
Where be that then ?: Meaning: Where is that ?
Origin: West country parlance
Example: "Chipping Sodbury ? Where be that then ?"
Windows Box: Meaning: A PC that is running Windows
Origin: A PC that runs Linux is often referred to as a Linux Box.
Example: "Do you have a Windows Box? I have to use IE"