Never Help Fix Computers
I am the kind of person who works with a computer all the time. I'm not an expert on everything but I know a good deal about the things that I need to do. After working for awhile, you inevitably come up against problems that you have to solve,
- Why won't the printer work with this big image ?
- How can I load this data faster ?
- Is there a better way to convert this file from format X to format Y ?
Maybe you solve the problem straightaway, sometimes it takes longer. After solving the big problems you start to think about minor problems and less serious things, "It would be nice to change the desktop background, after all I'm looking at it all day." After even longer time you get around to customising other desktop features too.
Eventually other people see you working away with your slick desktop and getting things done that would normally present immense difficulty to them. They fail to see the long hours of tweaking and experimentation that has gone into it. In their eyes you are a guru: You can help them! Lyndon's law of fixing computers says never fix a computer for someone else.
When someone asks you to sort out their little problem with their PC it's difficult to say no. It starts with "Can you take a quick look at this (hopelessly mangled mess) for me ?" This turns into a lengthy process to determine how they are doing the thing that isn't working and how they have set up their computer. In order to fix a problem you need to understand it and the process of understanding a problem is rarely quick.
Sifting through another person's configuration to try to find what is going wrong is a painful experience. The average user ignores important system messages without reading them or understanding them. They will try to helpfully explain what they think is causing the problem, not realising that 90% of what they say is misinformation. And a waste of time.
If you help someone clear a printer jam, then you will quickly become the guy who fixes the printer. All you did was use your brain to open up a few of the user accessible panels and look inside. You were never an expert and it is not your job to fix the printer. Other people in your office now go directly to you for help instead of learning how to clear a simple jam. They have a rush job and they "don't have time to learn how to do it", which means "your time is unimportant".
Occasionally you might help someone dealing with what you think is a very serious problem: there is a solution but there is a small risk of large scale damage. No matter what happens, how many warnings you give, how many times you ask them to make sure they have back ups of all their important data, how many last chances you give to back out of the procedure, it goes wrong. That's OK, you expected this, you were prepared and you passed the final responsibility to the person you were helping.
No. They will blame you. They didn't think they might actually need the backups and they didn't make them because you're a computer god and if it's not working now it's because you broke it, it's all your fault and you'd better fix it.
Handling Requests for Help
It's not practical to advise "Just say no" because sometimes you can't, for example when your boss asks; so here are some tips for dealing with requests:
- Never, ever, physically touch the supposedly broken computer.
- Never offer or agree to take a "quick look".
- If you absolutely cannot avoid helping, suggest observing them try to do the broken task. Only offer tips, think of it as a teaching situation.
- If you absolutely must fix it then insist that all rights are rescinded and that the computer is effectively trash that you are trying to recover.
- Never fix the same problem twice. If the previous fix was only temporary then it's time for the support desk/shop to deal with it, or the previous fix didn't actually mend anything so it must be a more deeply rooted problem, needing professional help.
- If you absolutely have to try a tricky procedure then make sure that the final mouse click or key press is physically performed by the other person.
At the exact moment of realisation that anything you have done has caused something to become seriously kaput you must adopt the following line and rigidly stick to it, no matter what[1]: "Exactly as I said, it was completely beyond rescue" then walk away slowly and do not look back. Or care.
[1] Even if you realise you did something really stupid and it really is your fault.